Do you ever feel like you can’t control your anger when someone or something frustrates you?
Has anyone ever told you that you have an anger problem?
If so then this article is for you.
Yes we all understand that getting angry is a natural part of being a human being at one time or another in our lives. But if we cannot control our anger or get angry too often, for little or no reason then it can become a problem.
If you don’t do something about it it can ruin relationships, your career and even land you in trouble with the law.
But please don’t think anger is something that is determined by sex or race. Men and women of all nationalities, cultures and backgrounds can be affected by anger just the same.
So when trying to take control of our anger the hardest – yet most important – thing is to be able to recognise and admit when we have an anger problem. So this article aims to help you become aware of any anger issues you may have, because awareness is the first step towards positive change in life
7 Signs You Have Anger Management Issues
If you’re struggling to manage your anger but you’re not sure if you’d classify yourself with anger management issues then these signs might help you determine whether you need help or someone you love.
1. You Criticize and Degrade People
When you often feel the need to put others down to relieve your own stress or make yourself feel better it is a sign that you are not dealing with your own internal issues effectively. Not only does this make others feel worse, it increases your own suffering over time as well.
Learn to be conscious of how you talk to everyone you come into contact with in your daily life and notice every time you criticise or belittle someone.
2. People Closest To Us Feel Fear
Your closest family and friends should never fear you. Though if your past actions and words have been fueled by anger there is a good chance that the most important people in your life may fear you. Without you even knowing they may see you as a threat to their safety that they need to be wary of at all times.
Of course nobody wants this, so if you can remember times when your partner, children or family and friends have ever shown fear towards you it is a very clear sign you need to do something to manage your anger more effectively and potentially seek professional help.
3. You Have A Short Temper
Being unable to control your temper is one of the clearest indications of anger management issues.
Do you yell and scream when someone cuts you off in traffic?
Do you get angry at work to the point where you have outbursts and yell at people regularly?
Do trivial things such as losing your keys make you furious?
Not being able to control your temper can lead to serious trouble if not addressed. It’s important to monitor your behaviour each and every day so you notice if you lose your temper regularly.
4. No Patience
Having patience is to accept and tolerate problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed, anxious or angry. There are many times in life when things don’t go exactly as we hoped and having the patience to maintain control and deal with the situation calmly and clearly is important for leading a healthy and happy life.
5. Always Blaming Others
When you do not take responsibility for your own actions, or always find a way to blame everyone and everything for your problems or deeds, it may indicate that you have anger issues. Having the clarity of mind to be able to accept responsibility for your actions and your life situation gives you much more power to deal with the consequences in a positive way.
6. People Say You’re Angry
As much as we don’t want to hear it, if people close to us say that we are angry then we need to listen. Now that’s not to say they are definitely right but it means you need to investigate why they are saying this and if there have been past experiences where you did lose your temper.
Also if people who are close to you start to avoid you it may be because of your anger issues and they are just too scared to bring it up. So be conscious if you feel people are starting to avoid you.
7. Cannot Accept Criticism
Do you lose your temper when people say something negative about you?
We all have to deal with criticism at some points in our life. But if we instantly return fire, deny or simply shut down when this happens it can mean we are not in control of our emotions, especially anger.
Being able to listen, take criticism and have a meaningful conversation about difficult issues is important for building strong relationships
If you don’t take action and learn to control your anger you may find your reactions start to damage your relationships, your health and many other areas of your life.
Read our tips for managing anger issues.
As we mentioned earlier admitting you have an anger issues is often the hardest thing to do. But if you recognise any of the above scenarios in your own behaviour then the best thing you can do is talk to an anger management professional.
Anger is nothing to feel bad or ashamed about, it’s simply something to be worked on and improved so you don’t end up hurting or losing those closest to you.