Despite all the physical and material success and possessions one may have in there life it is clear to see that these things are no guarantee of happiness. On the other hand I’m sure would of seen people from third world countries living in desperate poverty who still have the biggest, most genuine smile plastered across their faces most of the day.
So this leads us to believe, and there is a lot of research support this theory, that happiness really does come from within. Your thinking patterns and how you react to certain situations all plays a very big part in how much joy and happiness you experience each day.
This sounds simple right?
But why then do so many of feel so empty, sad, inadequate, fearful and plain unhappy when in reality we have all the necessities for a happy life?
A lot of it comes down to the unconscious habits that control our thinking and lead us down negative paths. The good thing is once we know these common habits of unhappy people we can work to overcome them and get the professional help we need to enjoy more happiness in our day to day lives.
So here we will look at the 3 habits of unhappy people and offer some solutions to overcome them and replace them with positive habits.
Focusing On The Negative Of Every Situation
As life unfolds many events will take place both positive and negative. It’s our perspective on these events and how we react that makes all the difference not the actual event itself.
Even in positive situations some of us can try really hard to find a negative and then focus solely on that completely forgetting all the great, positive and wonderful aspects that we should be feeling grateful for.
If you find yourself focusing on a negative aspect of a situation take a step back and try to look for even the smallest positive. Maybe some situations are completely negative like losing someone close to you but even then we can try to be constructive and see what lessons we can take out of it and move forward a stronger more resilient person.
Trying To Be Perfect
One of the easiest ways to feel unhappy all the time is to aim for perfection in every area of your life. Life is not a competition and setting the bar so high all the time will often mean that you can’t enjoy the ride of life. Yes it’s important to have goals that you care about and strive towards but whether or not you reach that goal shouldn’t determine your daily happiness.
Then there are many people who are constantly comparing themselves to others and feel unhappy on inadequate if they are not achieving the same success in certain areas of life. But you need to understand everyone has their own worries and insecurities and you should only ever aim to improve on yourself. Perfection is a myth when it comes to living a happy life.
Focus on your small achievements and understand that even if you do achieve what you thought was perfection there will always be something else to aim for, so unless you enjoy the ride, try your very best and give yourself a break if you’re life is perfect in every area you’ll always be searching for happiness in the wrong places.
Listening To Negative Voices
In life there are people, places and experiences that bring joy and happiness and those that drag us down. If you surround yourself with negative people who are always talking down on themselves or those around them, if you watch the news and read the newspapers with stories of growing crime and injustice, if you let the negative voice in your own mind dominate your thoughts how can you ever expect to be happy?
Who you hang around and how you spend your time is your decision. When making plans or even just analysing your daily routine look deeper and identify whether this experience bring joy and happiness into your life, or whether it brings negativity, anger and frustration. Then decide if you really need these negative influences in your life.
There are many other habits we have identified that are common amongst unhappy people but these three seem to be present in most people we treat for anxiety, depression and many other mental illnesses. This is not to say that you can simply change your thinking and overcome these serious mental illnesses, not by any means. But it does help us identify things in our lives that trigger negative thinking.
If you feel that you have lived under a cloud of unhappiness for too long it may be time to seek professional help to change your thinking habits and help you feel more joy in life.